I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
