Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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