spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
