The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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