This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
