As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize