don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
please come you make the beer taste better
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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