I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
