Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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