I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
