were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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