Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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