Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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