my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize