Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
