apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize