But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
