I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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