I'm going to jail i love you
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
