You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
