we have officially lost it.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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