Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
