so explain again why im purple
no
He felt like a one man threesome
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
