Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Ladies don't puke and tell
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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