i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
