We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
