drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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