Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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