i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
