The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Randomize
