does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
