my phone needs a breathalizer
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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