I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
