Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
