Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
A+ Viking dick
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
