Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
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