sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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