my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
lol hangovers are for mortals.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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