I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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