I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
