Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
How's work?
Spinning.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
