Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
