3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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