I'm jealous of your bromance
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
