you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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