Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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