If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You ruined the universe
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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