I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Randomize
