There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
