sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
