She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize