So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
