I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
