We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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