so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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