soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
