If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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