Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
People in love make me want to vomit
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
