How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
