we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
