I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
too bad you live with your parents still
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize