is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
