We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You don't make any sense
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