I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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